


Fate

by niallsxxvoice



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 1D Fanfic, 1d, 1d fanfiction - Freeform, Arranged Marriage, F/M, Niall Horan - Freeform, One Direction Fanfic, One Direction Fanfiction, niall fanfic, niall fanfiction, niall horan fanfic, niall horan fanfiction, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-26 09:35:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2647127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niallsxxvoice/pseuds/niallsxxvoice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before I was even born, my parents made a deal with Bobby and Maura Horan, to someday marry me to their eldest son Niall. Today was the day I was to MEET him for the very first time.</p>
<p>Basically, I was born to be a Horan</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Strangers

“Maybe you can afford to wait. Maybe for you there’s a tomorrow. Maybe for you there’s one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around in it, let it slide like coins though your fingers. So much time you can waste it.

But for some of us there’s only today. And the truth is, you never really know.”

We may live in the 21st century but the rules have never really changed. Children have to suffer from their parents’ mistakes. In my whole entire life I was not allowed to make on single decision on my own. So now here I am, 21 years old, about to meet my fiancé for the very first time. My name is Tammy White and I’ve been engaged since before I was even born. 21 years ago my father was broke. Their estate was about to be sold, he owed several people millions of dollars, his wife pregnant with their first child. Luckily for my father, his friend Bobby Horan was willing to pay his debts and save the estate but only if he got something in return of course. They knew about my parents awaiting a girl and they had a one and a half year old boy. To make sure their families names would always stand for honor, fame and money Bobby Horan and my father made a deal to someday reunite their oldest children. I guess you could say my parents sold me to save their own asses. Basically I was born and raised to be a Horan.

Today I was supposed to meet the person I was supposed to spend my life with for the very first time. Even though I was raised with the knowledge of being engaged, I have never in my entire life met the guy. Well, not personally. The guy I am talking about was Niall Horan, member of the most successful boy band of all time One Direction. I know that millions of thousands of girls were going to envy me but I could start to vomit by only thinking of it. I hated their music, hated the girls who were wasting their whole entire life for a band but most of all I hated him. I hated him even though I had never met him. Well, that was about to change though.

“Tamara, are you ready?” I heard my mother shouting from downstairs.

“Yes, mother I’m coming.” I looked into the mirror. My parents had it all planned out, a light pink dress, fitting tight but not too tight, showing cleavage but not showing too much, my hair perfectly done, a neutral make up. I hated it. I hated it as much as I hated my life, my parents and him.

We arrived at the most expensive restaurant in New York City (ofc ugh) and when I saw the Paparazzi in front of the restaurant I was ready to trade my soul to the devil so I wouldn’t have to do this.

“Did you call them?” I snapped at my father, crossing my hands in front of my chest, refusing to leave the limo.

“We need press, Tamara. You do understand that, don’t you?”

I wanted to slap him right across the face. I got out of the limo eventually, almost falling due to my 5423456 inches high heels. I would laugh right in his face if these made me taller than him. I was the first to go into the Restaurant followed by my parents. I instantly saw them and walked straight to them. His parents stood up and rushed towards us, wide smiles on their faces. Niall’s mother rushed towards mine, hugging her.

“Oh, Anna dearest, it’s been far too long.”

My father gave his a manly hug before both of Niall’s parents turned to me.

“You must be Tamara.” His mother reached her hand out to meet mine.

“Tammy.” I corrected her, giving her a polite smile.

“Tamara!” My mother corrected me and nodded at Niall’s mother.

“Well I guess it doesn’t matter, when we are about to become a family. My name is Bobby and this is my wife Maura.”

It was only now that I noticed that through all of this Niall had not moved an inch. He had sat on his chair, his eyes glued to his phone.

“Let’s introduce them to each other. This is the moment we have been waiting for.” Bobby clapped his hands together. I felt disgusted; they acted like we were some goddamn animals in a zoo.

“Niall!” His father called, a strict tone.

He raised his eyes and our looks met for the very first time. While mine was rather curious, his was cold as ice. He seemed completely emotionless to me. I suddenly felt cold myself.

“Niall this is Tamara White, your future wife.” His mother praised, clapping her hands together.

“Just so you know, I don’t want to do this. Any of this.” He snapped at me, thick Irish accent, light blue eyes boring into mine.

“I cannot believe your behavior. Again.” His mother sounded disappointed and I couldn’t even snap back at him. I was way too shocked. It was that moment that I realized how wrong my life would go… Married to an arrogant wannabe star.

“You know I love Ashley, Mom! I’m tired of you ruining my life.”

Wow he was actually right. Our parents were ruining our lives. That meant he had a girlfriend? Or at least a girl he loved? I wouldn’t know how that felt. I was never allowed to have a boyfriend. Technically I wasn’t even allowed to have guy friends but thanks to a second phone, a second computer and basically a second identity I was able to at least make a couple of friends.

That was without doubt the most awkward ‘date’ I’ve ever had (not to mention my first ever date). During this whole thing, Niall had not once looked at me again. Our parents had chatted and even planned that goddamn fucking wedding. I couldn’t believe they were actually going through with this, I truly couldn’t … But the true shock was yet to come.

“What do you think, Tamara?” My mom asked pulling me out of my thoughts.

“About what?” I asked, frowning.

“We think you should go on tour with the boys.”

Niall’s and my head shot up to our parents in sync.

“WHAT?” We blurted out at the same time.

“Mom, no please! I promised Ashley she could come how-“

“Mother you are not doing this to me! Their music is horrible.”

“Excuse me?” Niall turned to me. Death glare in his eyes and I swear if looks could kill …

“Yes, you’re excused. Bye.” I snapped at him, grinning.

“Do not disrespect my band ever again.”

I was about to slap him across the face. “Look Mr. Superstar, do you really think I wanna do this? Do you really think I want to spend my life on the side of a wannabe Teenstar, who will be forgotten about in 5 years and by then will probably have a major drug problem?”

By that time our parents were simply staring at us and I was glad that we were pretty much the only people in that restaurant.

“Well!” Maura Horan sighed. “Tour starts next Monday and Tammy is coming! We’ll have to decide when we are going to go public… Probably on the day of the first concert or something.”

Without another word I stood up, excused myself and stormed out of the restaurant, into the streets of New York, my home. I didn’t want any of this. He was even more horrible than I had expected him to be. I texted my best friend Lou to meet me at the café we usually hung out in.

“He is a horrible bastard.” I blurted out while walking straight towards my best friend.

“He who?” She asked, sipping her coffee.

“Well Niall of course! He is a horrible, horrible person and I don’t want to marry him, Lou.” I tried my best not to burst out in tears.

“Then don’t marry him, Tammy.”

“I don’t have a fucking choice, you know that. I’m destined to be his wife and I’m destined to be unhappy for the rest of my life.” By now I was bawling like a baby.

Lou pulled me into a hug and I nuzzled my head into her shoulder.

“I’m supposed to go on tour with them.” I sobbed and I felt her freezing.

“You. Are. Fucking. Doing. WHAT?” Lou shouted, pulling away.

Right. Lou was probably the most dedicated One Direction girl on this earth. That’s when I got the best idea ever.


	2. Friends

“Who is that?” Bobby Horan asked me as we arrived at Madison Square Garden, the place where the boys' Tour would start tonight.

“That’s Lou! She’s my best friend and either she’s allowed to accompany me on the Tour or I’m not going.” I protested, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“That’s not going to be a problem; we always have room for a beautiful woman.” I heard an English accent say and shortly after I saw Liam approach us (yes I had practiced their names and I was fucking proud of myself). I could literally feel Lou almost faint next to me and I was scared she would have an emotional break down any second.

“I’m Liam.” The handsome guy introduced himself, reaching for mine and then for Lou’s hand.

“I’m Tammy and that-“ I pointed to my best friend who wasn’t able to speak. “… Is Lou. She’s a big fan.” I grinned at Lou.

“Come on, Tamara it’s time to get ready. There will be a big event before the first show and you and Niall are going to walk the red carpet together.” Bobby told me, pulling me towards the mask.

“We are going to do what?” Oh my god. I was the clumsiest person ever how was I supposed to do that? And with Niall? Dear lord, please send help.

After at least 5 hours in mask and another 2 hours till I had squeezed into the tightest dress on earth I looked into the mirror and was actually kind of impressed. I looked good.

“Come on we gotta go.” I heard my soon to be husband calling.

Taking a few deep breaths, I walked out of the mask. In front of the building there was a big stretch limo ready. In front of it, all five boys and their girlfriends. Niall had told me all of their names and if I was right Eleanor was with Louis, Sophia with Liam, Perrie with Zayn and Harry would go without a girlfriend. I walked towards them, with a faked smile. I didn’t even know if they knew that … mine and Niall’s relationship was arranged.

“Tammy, let me formally introduce you to me fellow bandmates. Louis, Harry, Liam and Zayn.”

I shot each one a polite smile and mumbled a “Hi.” I know Lou would already be fainting.

They all got into the limo but I grabbed Niall by his arm, turning him around. “Do they know? About … this.” I asked, motioning my finger between us.

Niall let out a loud laughter. I almost jumped, I had never heard him laugh, it was a rather warm laugh. “Of course they know. Except for Zayn and Perrie none of these people are in real realationships.” With that he got into the limo and I followed him.

“Are you ready for this?” Niall asked, emotionless look on his face.

“No!” I whispered as the limo door opened.

Niall grabbed my hand as the flashes started to go off.

We smiled for the cameras and it wasn’t long until we had to give our first interview.

“Niall, who’s the pretty girl on your arm tonight?” The interviewer asked.

“Um, that’s Tammy my girlfriend.” As soon as he had said that even more flashes went off and even though I smiled a perfect smile, I wanted to barf in his face. Jerk.

“Wow you two look so good together.” The interviewer said more towards Niall, as she was already almost drooling over him. “So Tammy how does it feel to be with a member of the biggest boy band on the planet?”

“It has it’s perks but I don’t really care about his fame or anything like that. That is not the reason why I’m with him.” The real reason is, that I’m fucking forced to be with him. Instead of saying that I fake smiled at Niall who looked genuinely pleased with my answer.

“What is your favorite song of the Midnight Memories album?”

I thanked god for my best friend and for her forcing me to listen to the album 5 bajillion times. “Um .. Little Black Dress I think.”

“Good one, thank you two so much!” The interviewer smiled before Niall pulled me along.

“You actually listened to the album?” Niall whispered to me, a frown on his face.

“Lou made me!” I protested. “Besides, it wasn’t even good.”

Niall chuckled, while shaking his head.

“What does your girlfriend think about this?” I asked, while we kept smiling for the cameras.

“Haven’t heard from her in a while…”

“Do you think our parents will go through with this?”

“100 percent.” I noticed that his accent actually did sound pretty nice. “They’ve been planning this since forever.”

“Well, then I guess we need to figure something out…”

During the concert I was seated in special seats with the boys’ parents and to my happiness Lou was allowed to join me (though she was all busy screaming and drooling over Liam). I took the time to watch my future husbands every move. At the end of the concert I had to admit that the boys really did love their fans and that their fans were incredibly dedicated.

After the concert Niall and I were brought to the hotel and of course we had to sleep in one fucking room and I hated my parents even more.

It was a luxury hotel in Manhattan and of course we had a whole suit just for the two of us. I thought about how that was going to be my life. Tours, hotels, lonely nights … I wanted to cry. I stood by the window as I was pulled out of my thoughts.

“You wanna take a shower first?” He asked me and I turned around to see he was only wearing a boxer short.

“Jesus Christ Horan! Go ahead but don’t you come out of that bathroom without wearing something that covers all this.” I pointed towards his unfortunately much toned upper body.

He giggled and disappeared into the bathroom and after I had taken a shower as well, I joined him in the living room of the suit.

“Look I’ve thought about this..” Niall began, turning the TV off. “If we want to stop this we need to work together! Fighting each other won’t bring us anywhere but fighting together will. So … Friends?”

I was quite impressed by his speech and I had to agree with him. Our parents were so much more powerful than we were but maybe we could somehow succeed together.

“Friends.” I agreed, smiling politely.

A couple of weeks passed, we were finally back in New York for a week now, in which I learned incredibly much about Niall and the rest of the band. Zayn and Perrie were really engaged, Louis was actually with Harry (just as Lou had always predicted) and Liam was single. I also learned that they were all incredibly close and that Niall was actually kind of funny, kind of handsome and kind of completely nice. Lou and I went to the concerts almost every night, dancing and singing along. We spent the rest of the nights with the boys as well. Niall and I had pretended to be madly in love when we were out and also in front of our parents so they would at least leave us alone. I had received loads of hate on twitter but some of the ‘Niall Girls’, as they call themselves, were supportive.

I did have one problem though. Niall’s girlfriend was not amused by our fake relationship but it got even worse when she noticed, we were developing a friendship. Not that I didn’t understand her because I did … Completely. If my boyfriend was to marry another woman I’d have given up a long time ago. But Ashley was just such … a stupid bitch. She would give me the bitch look all the time, humiliate me, make unnecessary comments and stuff like that.

“Kiss!”

“What?!” Niall and I asked in sync, staring at the interviewer.

“I asked if you two could kiss.” The interviewer repeated. I heard the other boys’ chuckle, cursing them.

“Um …”

“Of course...” Niall smiled politely and I shot my head in his direction. “It’s just a kiss right?” He whispered and my eyes grew.

He came closer, closing his eyes and I just gave in. As soon as Niall had captures my lips, I heard cameras click, while I felt his hand on my cheek.

“Alright, alright get a room, will ya?” I heard Louis chuckle, before I felt Niall pulling away.

Wow … That was kind of um …

I tried my hardest not to blush but I knew I was failing miserably. Niall cleared his throat before turning to the interviewer again and I did the same. Of course Niall and I had become closer over the past weeks or even months but we had never even talked about kissing in public or kissing at all. We knew we were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together but I guess we’ve just never thought about it like that since we became friends. Anyway, we finished the interview in which I tried to stay as silent as possible; it was so awkward being the only one of the boys ‘girlfriends’ attending this interview.

After the interview we went into the boys dressing room where the boys of course mocked me.

“That was quite the kiss you two shared back there, what do ya think Hazza?” Louis giggled, hugging Harry from behind.

“I think you two make a lovely couple …” Harry smirked at me, tilting his head.

“Well you two are the ones to speak, Lou told me your whole ‘fandom’ knows about you two being together yet you are too chickened out to come out.” I squinted my eyes and smirked at them.

“Would you just leave them alone?” Niall snapped at me from the other side of the room. I turned my head and frowned. He sat on a chair, guitar in his hand, not even looking at me. Wow, was he seriously going to be pissed because we had to kiss?

“Tammy you gonna accompany us to the club tonight?” Zayn asked, ignoring Niall.

“What club?” I asked, frowning.

“We go there almost every weekend. It’s in Downtown New York and you know … not many fangirls around there…” Liam winked. “You could bring Lou…”

I had to laugh. “So you want me to bring the biggest One Direction fangirl to a club where no fangirls are allowed.”

“Yer better tell her t fucking contain herself.” Niall snapped again with a thick accent.

“What is your fucking problem today, Niall?” I asked, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“Just ignore him …” Zayn mouthed towards me.

 

Lou and I got ready together; we knew we had to dress extra fancy while we were out with One Direction.

“What do you think?” Lou asked me, doing a twirl in front of me.

“I’m sure Liam will be enchanted!” I giggled, applying mascara to my lashes.

“I wouldn’t care what he thinks.” My best friend pouted, crossing her arms.

“Of course you wouldn’t!” I said sarcastically and Lou sighed.

I looked into the mirror and was quite pleased with myself. My black lace dress fit tight around my curves, exposing just enough of my cleavage. If there were no fangirls around, it would be the perfect opportunity for me to get some. After all I didn’t have sex in freaking months.

We met up with the boys in the hotel lobby, one of them looking more dashing than the other, which I had to admit. Niall walked towards me instantly grabbing my hand.

“It’s full of paparazzi out there.” He justified his actions. I was still pissed at his actions from earlier so I chose to ignore him for the rest of the night.

Once we arrived at the club, I instantly walked over to the bar ordering 10 Tequila shots, which I drowned in a row. I felt the alcohol burning in my throat and I couldn’t wait to just fucking forget everything. Once the burn in my throat had faded I felt already a bit tipsy, walking towards the dance floor. I began dancing and soon felt strangers’ arms around my hips. I grinded into the strangers’ crotch more than happy to finally get some male contact after weeks of living like a nun. I turned my head a bit to look at the stranger. Very handsome, brunette, green eyes, I loved it… Until I was forcefully dragged away from him that is. I turned around to look into the dark blue eyes of a very pissed off Niall Horan.

“Niall what the hell?” I snapped at him, trying to escape from his tight grip around my upper arm.

“Yeah man, what the hell?” The brunette guy slurred.

“Listen, this is me girlfriend and yer don’t get t touch her, understood?” With that Niall dragged me away from the dance floor, out of the club, fresh air making goose bumps appear all over m arms and neck.

“Are you out of your freaking mind? First, I’m not your ‘girlfriend’, you do not get to tell me what I can and cannot do, are we clear?” I walked up to him, rage building up in me and I was no longer cold.

“I don’t give a fuck what ya did before this but as long as yer out with me, you are not going to behave like a fucking slut!”

Before I could even stop myself, my hand slapped right across his face, a red mark instantly appearing on his cheek.

“I did not sign up for this either okay?” Tears were starting to well up in my eyes and I knew I was about to have a panic attack, so I wrapped my arms around myself and walked away from him, into the streets of New York.

I heard him calling my name behind me but he didn’t follow me … I had kinda hoped he would.

Once I had been around the corner, I hailed myself a cab. I was glad to finally arrive in my hotel room … oh wait our hotel room. I hoped for the sake of that fucker that he would fucking stay over at Liam’s because I was not going to have any of his shit. I went into the bathroom to get the makeup off of my face but when I looked into the mirror I started to feel the tears burning in my eyes again. Why had he been like this today? I had really started to like him; I thought we could figure something out … Something, anything to stop this madness from happening but … I didn’t even know myself anymore and I couldn’t figure a solution for this problem out myself, I truly couldn’t, I had tried for the past 21 years.

After I had changed into some pj’s I wrapped myself into the blanket, finally dozing off into sleep. It wasn’t long until I was awoken by rough knocking on the door and I needed a minute to realize that it was actually happening. I was scared as fuck as I pulled the nearest clothing item over my head and tip toed towards the door. The rough knocking continued and I pressed my ear against the door.

“Tammy …” I instantly knew who it was. “Tammy? Tams?” Tams? What the hell? “Please open t door? Forgot me keys…” He was obviously completely drunk. I considered not letting him in but I didn’t want bad press so I opened the door slightly, peaking through it.

“What do you want, Niall?”

“I’m sorry…” He slurred and I opened the door entirely though I still didn’t let him in.

“Sorry for what exactly?” I asked, frowning.

“You are wearing me sweater!” Niall giggled, pointing a finger at me.

I looked down on my body, fucking hell.

“Well yes Niall I thought you were a fucking thief or a fangirl trying to sneak into Niall Horan’s hotel room!” I raised my voice a bit and felt new anger building up at me because he was obviously amused by this.

“That happened one time actually …” He noticed my annoyed expression and got a bit more serious himself. “Can I come in or are yer gonna feed me to t fangirls?”

I stared at him for a few more minutes before I let him in. I sat on the back and watched him walking around in the suit.

“Why did you get mad in the first place? And why were you so annoyed earlier after the … kiss?” I really didn’t want to ask him about this but if we were going to be friends we needed to be honest to each other.

“I don’t even know meself not gonna lie…” He shrugged and I threw a pillow at him.

“You frustrate me so much!” I call, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

Niall threw himself on the bed next to me, pulling out his phone.

“What are you doing?” I asked. Whenever he was on his phone he wore glasses which made him look freaking hot I was not going to deny that.

“Management told me I needed t tweet something ‘bout us so it seems real when we get engaged.”

I almost choked at the word engaged. Technically we were still engaged but I knew we were going to have to make it official. I jumped as suddenly my phone started buzzing.

What the hell it was like 2 in the morning. I grabbed it and groaned at the name that showed.

“Mother it is 2am what in hell?”

“Well it’s not in London!” Right… My parents had flown to London the day before yesterday due to some weird business there. “Are you with Niall?”

I wanted to slap her through the phone. “Yes mother.”

“Tamara! You know that you are going to be his wife right?” Oh my god I knew exactly where this conversation was headed. “And you need to do wife-ly things such as –“

“Ok bye mother love you.” I cut her off, hanging up the phone!

I threw the phone away, I hated her so much. I was not going to sleep with Niall I mean … not that I didn’t want to, I did … Wait what? No – Nope – I do not want to sleep with Niall, he was sort of beautiful and stuff but I – ugh.

“What are you thinking about?” Niall asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“I’m not thinking about anything!” I shook my head a little too fast.

“Yes you are, ya do that thing were yer forehead wrinkles!” He pointed at my forehead.

“Stalker…” I mumbled. “I’m gonna go back to sleep.” I looked at him, waiting for him to get up from the bed.

“Okay…”

“Niall out of the bed!” I pointed towards the couch in the other room of the suit.

“I’m not gonna rape ya, you know that right?” Niall smirked at me. He could be such a bad boy if he wanted to. I tried to hold a smile back.

“Fine stay here but don’t you dare to have phone sex with Ashley while you are in this bed.” I warned him, turning my back towards him, while crawling under the blankets.

I woke up the next morning but still kept my eyes closed; something I had done as long as I remember ever since I’d been a little girl. I loved it to bathe in these few seconds where your brain doesn’t know if you are still sleeping or already awake. This morning something was different though, I felt something going up and down between my arms almost like breathing – I opened my eyes to find myself wrapped up in the arms of him, my arm over his chest and his around my body. My breath got stuck in my throat and I released myself as careful as possible from his grip, heading straight towards the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and sighed, rubbing my face with my hands.

 

That was the first time I woke up in Niall Horan’s arms.


	3. Closer

Yesterdays kiss Niall and I had shared during the interview was all over the news and in every newspaper. I sort of felt bad for his girlfriend because she had to look at this being published and discussed everywhere.

“Mornin’” Niall mumbled, stretching on the bed. I crossed fingers that he didn’t notice me sleeping in his arms.

“Um … Morning!” I tried my best to cover my nervousness up.

“What?” He asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes. I noticed that his hair actually looked better when it wasn’t done at all. I like how it just stuck flat to his forehead.

“Nothing! Nothing really… Do you want breakfast? I can order room service!”

Niall giggled before he smirked at me. “Are ya worried because yer snuggled into me once you’d fallen asleep?”

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and glared at him. “I didn’t!”

“Yes, ya did! Don’t worry ‘bout it, it’s okay.”

I sighed because there was absolutely no point in denying it.

“Oh and I forgot to tell ya but we’re going on Louis’ mums wedding t’day.” Niall casually said while getting out of bed while only fucking wearing boxers.

“WAIT WHAT? Today? Are you insane? How can you not tell me? I don’t even have anything to wear and I got like 4 hours of sleep, Niall!”

“Our stylist, Lou is gonna take care of you, don’t worry!” He winked at me while walking past me into the bathroom.

“What does Ashley have to say to this?” I ask, without turning around.

“Well she doesn’t really get to have a say in this, does she? None of us do.”

He sounded so bitter.

“I’m sorry you know…” I mumbled, turning around to face him. “I’m sorry we have to do this.”

“It’s not your fault, it’s not our fault, it’s our parents’. And if it makes you feel any better, you’re not as bad as I thought you were, White.”

I let a slight smile appear on my face. “You’re not either, Horan.”

___________

“Wow …” I whispered, looking into the mirror.

One Direction’s stylist Lou Teasdale looked at me more than pleased. I had sat in mask all morning and after I had squeezed into my dress I could finally look at myself. I was wearing a pink flow-y, strapless dress, my hair was curly and loosely wrapped up in a nice bun.

“Wow ….” I heard someone breathe out behind me, making me turn around.

I looked at him; he was wearing a dark blue suit, which made his eyes appear to be even bluer. His hair was freshly dyed and up in a quiff.

Trying not to blush at his comment, I looked at him, pressing my lips together.

“You look beautiful.” Niall smiled slightly, coming towards me to offer me his hand.

“Thank you …” I whispered, meaning it while taking his hand.

I felt uncomfortable during the whole ceremony because I knew there were going to be paparazzi everywhere. I kept feeling the need to lean on Niall, the need for him to hold me and to tell me everything was going to be alright which confused me even more. I knew Harry and Louis were uncomfortable as well because they knew there were paparazzi everywhere as well and they needed to be careful to make their relationship seem fake we needed to make sure it appeared to be real.

“Let’s dance …” Niall grinned, offering me his hand.

“I can’t dance …” I shrugged before I felt myself being pulled up.

“Yes yer can.”

Niall pulled me onto the dance floor when their new single ‘Night Changes’ came on.

“Wow it’s not cheesy at all to dance to your own fucking song.” I smirked at him, as he began to twirl us around.

“Hey it’s a great song, don’t ruin the moment.” He said, and I frowned at him.

During the whole song we didn’t take our eyes off of each other for one second and I knew the other boys were watching us. I had to admit, I loved the song. It was calm and simple yet completely unique and beautiful. Niall’s intense stares made my stomach tingle against my will and I knew he had had just as much to drink as I had had earlier.

“…. It will never change me and you”

The song ended and when I was about to pull away I felt Niall’s grip on my waist tightening, before I felt him pulling me in, pressing his lips against mine. I was surprised first, the alcohol in my body making me feel slightly dizzy. I quickly threw my doubts overboard, melting into his grip. The kiss got heated pretty fast and I had to remind myself that we were standing in the middle of a fucking dance floor. I pulled away slowly, opening my eyes to look into his slightly flushed face. He wanted to lean in again but I pulled back further.

“Niall stop …” I whispered, lightly shaking my head at him.

“Why?”

“Because … You are in a relationship and Ashley loves you and we wanted to stop this … us right?” I asked, motioning my index finger between us.

He took a few deep breaths. “This … Us-“ He started imitating me. “It feels right to me doesn’t it feel right to you?”

“Look Niall … Ashley is incredibly strong to put up with this. I may not be her biggest fan but I have to give her that one. I’m sure you don’t want to disappoint her.”

“Can we just concentrate on what we want? Can we just ignore what our parents want, what management wants, what Ashley wants?” He pressed his lips together, his hands were still wrapped around my waist and his cheeks were still flushed from our making out session. He looked like a goddamn angel and this was the moment I had to finally admit that he had gotten under my skin.

I sighed because I wanted nothing more than to just do what I wanted to for once in my life.

“Have sex with me …” He purred into my ear, his hot breath tickling.

I shot my head back, eyes widening, looking into his grinning face.

“Absolutely not!” I stated, frowning.

“I know you want to!”

“Don’t be so full of yourself Mister.” I raised a brow at him.

We were still dancing and it wasn’t until now that I noticed he was a really good dancer.

“What about Ashley?”

“Tams, weren’t we just talking about doing what we want for once?”

“Niall I’m no-“

I was cut off by his lips pressing to mine again. I sighed, there was no point in denying it really, we both know I wanted him. I had wanted him for a while now.

Our lips moved slowly against each other, matching together perfectly. Putting my arms around his neck, I pulled him further into me, completely forgetting all the people dancing around us. I knew this would have consequences because while we kept lazily kissing like that I more and more realized that I did not hate him anymore. I didn’t hate him at all but that was what I had always wanted to do. It was easy to just hate him, to make it his fault that our parents had fucked up but now …

Niall pulled away, staring at me.

“Let’s go home?” He asked.

Home … What did home even mean? Ever since Lou and I joined them on their tour, we had slept in a different hotel every night and this week was the first in ages, in which we actually stayed in one place for a week. I shook my head. I had definitely had too much to drink.

“Ya, let’s go.”

When we finally arrived in the hotel room, I wanted nothing more than finally get out of the way too tight dress I had worn all day there was just a slight problem … I hated myself for this and I swore my cheeks flushed but I just had to ask …

“Um Niall? Can you – Do you mind unzipping my dress? I can’t get it open myself.”

I had my back turned to him but I could practically feel the grin on his face as he approached me. He zipped it down just a little bit his touch sending shivers down my spine. Holy mother of shit how was I supposed to sleep with him tonight … Not sleep with him … Just sleep in one room with – Fucking shit I needed to get my shit together.

I heard him gasp and frowned. Oops.

“Are ya telling me yer haven’t been wearing a bra all day?” Niall groaned and I turned around, now able to zip the rest down myself.

“Have you seen that dress Niall it’s fucking tight.”

“Please tell me you are wearing pant-“

“Niall don’t!” I warned him. I must have looked absolutely ridiculous with my dress halfway zipped down.

He covered his face with his hands and groaned again. “Yer lucky I didn’t know that because I wouldn’t have fucking taken you right there and then.”

I almost chocked and I heard him laugh. It was the kind of laugh where he would throw his head back and clap his hands together. I liked it.

“I hope you don’t think I’m going to sleep with you, you are going to have to get me a lot drunker than this.” I smirked at him before going into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I changed into a random shirt (I say it was random but I was completely aware of the fact that it was his) and since it was oversized for me, I decided not to wear any boxers (Yes I wanted to tease him so what).

I went back into the bedroom and it was pitch black. Bloody bastard.

“Niall don’t you even think you are going to sleep in the bed again, it’s not happen-“

Before I could finish my sentence, he attacked me, putting his arms around me from behind, pressing his crotch into my ass.

He turned me around before turning the lights on again. He wasn’t wearing anything but a boxer and I had to admit that my mouth watered at the sight of his body. Bastard.

“You are wearing my shirt … Again!” He smirked, his eyes roaming my body.

I didn’t want to want him but in this moment I wanted him with all I had. I pulled him closer, attaching my lips to his in a heated kiss. I grazed his lower lip with my teeth, earning a low growl from him. I pushed him onto the bed, surprise was written all over his face. I hovered over him, grinding my crotch into his several times which made both of us moan. It had been forever since I was with a guy actually the last guy I had been with was – I pushed the thought out of my head quickly, before I felt Niall spinning me around now on top of me. He attached his lips to my neck, travelling south.

“I’ve waited all fucking day for this. All fucking week, ever since I laid eyes on you in the fucking first place.”

I rolled my eyes into my head. “But you hated me …”

“We didn’t hate each other, we hated out parents for doing this to us.”

He was right.

The next day I woke up with a major headache and as soon as I was able to think clearly I noticed arms around me … The same arms that were holding me yesterday morning. But something was different … I felt … sore? That’s when memories of last night flooded my mind.

“Beg for ‘t.” He slurred as he pounded into me. I was so close all I needed was a little more pressure.

“Please, Ni, I’m begging you! I need you to make me cum.” I moaned over and over again.

Finally my orgasm washed over me, I clenched around his dick so hard, he finished within seconds after me, releasing warm spurts into me.

Rolling off of me, Niall and I both tried to catch our breaths and soon I felt myself dooze off into sleep.

“You’re mine! Always have been, always will be…” Was the last thing I heard before I was gone.

 

“Holy mother of SHIT!” I whisper-yelled trying to release myself from his grip. When I finally got out of the bed I went straight for the bathroom, turning around to see him still sleeping peacefully … and naked btw. I went in, quickly hopping into the shower as I still had … Niall’s … well cum all over my thigh. I got out of the shower, putting on a robe when I heard a knocking on the hotel room door. I tip toed through the bedroom and opened the door expecting it to be room service, or management or one of the boys or Lou but fucking shit I did not expect it to be him … Him as in …

“Lucas?!” I whisper-yelled but I already heard Niall waking up. “What the hell are you doing here?” I didn’t know whether to shout or to cry or to bang the door into his face.

“Nice robe.” He smirked and winked at me.

I heard Niall getting up from the bed and I got more nervous by the second this was not going to end well.

“Who’s it babe?” I heard him slur his accent deep and thick as it always was in the morning.

I cringed at the word ‘babe’ and frankly so did Lucas. Niall appeared next to me, looking from Lucas to me and back to Lucas.

“Oh that’s right Tammy … Your sleeping with wannabe rockstars now.” Lucas crossed his arms in front of his chest.

I felt Niall tense up next to me.

“Lucas what do you want?” I sighed. It was way too early for this sort of shit.

“You know what I want … I want you back!”

“Never in your wildest dreams.” Niall growled and I was fully aware of the fact that he was quoting one of his own fucking songs.

“We’re not done here Tammy. You know I always get what I want.” With that Lucas turned around and I smashed the door closed.

“Who the fuck was that?” Niall snapped at me, crossing his arms.

“For fucks sake Niall who do you think it was? It was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first fuck my first … everything. I was 16 and my parents had no idea and it was all perfectly fine until they found out a year ago.”

Niall clenched his fists and I shook my head at him. “Why do you even care, Niall?”

I knew I shouldn’t have said that but how can he be mad at me when it’s not my fault Lucas showed up here?

“You’re so right Tammy why do I even care?” He spat out sarcastically. With that he grabbed jeans and some random shirt and stormed out of the door.

I grabbed a glass bottle of water and smashed it against the wall making it break into millions of pieces.

 

“Fucking shit!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys :) so i wrote the first 3 chapters of this fanfic over the past few weeks and posted it on wattpad but since i know some people don't like wattpad i decided to post it on here as well! please feel free to tell me what you like/don't like and whether ot nor i should continue


	4. Deeper

I quickly put on a shirt and some pants and ran after him. He had just gotten into the elevator and it was about to close but I was faster.

“Look Niall I’m sorry.” I panted, trying to catch my breath.

He starred at me coldly, his hands crossed in front of his chest.

“It’s fine really … We drunkenly fucked last night and that was it. It’s not like we’re married right?” He spat.

Ou-fucking-ch.

“I’m sorry if you’re hurt I –“

“I’m not hurt! I don’t even know what’s gotten into me I guess I just missed Ashley and there was no one else around so …”

I didn’t even know what to say. I had really thought we were starting to … connect I guess? I should have fucking known he only wanted to fuck, he had been so flirty and nice all day. The elevator dinged again and this time I let it close. I hugged myself, trying to stop myself from crying. I just felt so … used? I mean obviously we weren’t in love, we had only known each other for a couple of months but I mean we were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together, weren’t we?

I walked back to my room and dropped myself on the bed. Normally I would have called Lou but that little fucker had spent all of the days with Liam lately. It knocked on the front door. I didn’t even want to open because I had been scared it would be Lucas again but then again it could have also been Niall … I got up from the bed and walked over to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it.

“Come on Tamara we need to get going everyone is waiting for you and Niall, flight leaves in 30 minutes!” Paul was clearly completely stressed out as he walked up and down in our hotel room.

“Um … flight? Where to?” I frowned at him, raising my eye brows.

“Jesus fucking Christ, we’re flying to London today! The boys will have two weeks off and then we continue with the European leg of the Tour. Where is Niall?”

“Um … He kinda … left?”

“Oh for fucks sake! Come on, we need to get going!” Paul waved for me to come along. I quickly threw all of mine and Niall’s stuff into a suitcase and followed him.

“Basil? Yeah it’s me, we have a problem Niall is not in his hotel room.” Paul rubbed his hand against his head as we sat in the cab.

“He’s with you? Well thanks for fucking informing me, jesus Christ.” He hung up the phone and furiously shook his head.

I fucking hoped my parents weren’t still in London because I definitely wasn’t up for their shit.

Paul and I were the last to board the private plane and wow making eye contact with Niall wasn’t awkward like … at all. The good thing was that Lou had already arrived so I sat down next to hear, releasing a heavy breath.

“What’s going on I haven’t heard from you in days?” She whispered but I was pretty sure the boys could hear.

“A lot is going on I’ll tell you when we get out of this plane.”

I was so relieved when we finally arrived in London. I had never been there and I was kind of excited … That was until I heard the ‘instructions’ for my stay.

“Okay Louis and Harry you will be brought to your house separately and not at the same time, Louis you will have to be brought in through the backyard in cause there are any paparazzi. Eleanor will join you for the evening and Louis and her will have to go in public, Larry rumors are beginning to boil since Mr. Styles could not contain himself during the yahoo interview.” Harry groaned and hid his face in Louis shoulder. Paul eyed them with a strict but somehow fatherly look. I knew he cared about all of them so much.

“Okay let me go on. Zayn you will be brought to your house along with Perrie and then you are free to do whatever you want for the rest of the day.” Zayn and Perrie nodded and walked off towards their car already.

“Liam! Well um listen I am not sure what is going on between you two,” He motioned his finger between Liam and Lou. “but our contract with Sophia is still going so no going out together in public am I clear? If you wish to be together you are going to have to visit her at her hotel Liam, however help me god if anyone sees you!” I threw Lou a look and she knew she would have to call me so we could finally properly catch up.

“Niall and Tamara…” My head shot back to Paul. “Tamara you are going to stay at Niall’s house for the next two weeks and your parents want to see it all: press, going out, hand holding, kissing, everything.” Niall and I groaned at the same time. Wow this was going to be fun… NOT. 

“But I don’t like her.” Niall protested, cold tone in his voice. His attitude reminded me of the first few weeks before we had gotten to know each other.

“Cut that crap Niall. Oh and no Ashley for the next two weeks are we clear?” Paul pointed his index finger at Niall. “That’s your car, now you two don’t kill each other, you got that?” Niall and I nodded in sync before getting into the car … Wow.

We arrived at Niall’s house and I noticed that this was the first time I got a closer look into his personal life. The house was beautifully decorated and I guessed that Ashley helped with that … The mere thought of that made me feel a pit in my stomach I chose to ignore.

“It’s nice …” I smiled at him. I know I had fucked up, being rude to him but I really didn’t have the energy to fight.

“You don’t say…” He mumbled.

Well I guess fight it was then. “Ok Niall what is your problem? I didn’t do anything wrong it wasn’t my fault Lucas showed up at the hotel okay? You don’t even get to be angry at me because first, it wasn’t my fault and second, you were the one telling me you only slept with me because you missed Ashley!”

“Oh now we’re talking about that! You didn’t seem to want to talk about it yesterday!” He crossed his arms, raising his brows.

“For fucks sake I didn’t think you would want to talk about it either!? I – I don’t even know what this is.” I defended myself, motioning my finger between us.

“It’s nothing.” His voice sounded bitter. “It’s nothing at all. I am going to figure out a way to stop all of this so I can finally lead me own life.”

My heart dropped. I didn’t believe he really meant that but his cold attitude hurt either way. I knew that wasn’t him, I had seen the real him … At the wedding, when I was dancing with that guy in the – That’s when I got the best idea ever.

A couple of hours had passed and Niall was giving me a silent treatment but I was about to spoil his plan. He was in the living room watching derby and it was time for my plan to start. I had told Lou exactly what to do. It was exactly 9:06pm when my phone started to buzz off in the living room. I ran towards it, ignoring Niall back, answering the phone.

“Yeah? Lou, finally! What? You wanna go out? Of course I’ll come!” I eyed Niall from the corner of my eye and felt his attention drifting to me. “Yeah I’ve always wanted to find out how the British party. Just let me get ready and then we can meet at your hotel … No Niall is not going to be bothered … at all.” I heard him scoff behind me before I hung up the phone, walking out of the living room without even looking at him.

Once I was in the bathroom I started to put make up on. I applied bright red lipstick before curling my hair. I went into the bed room where my suitcase was and picked the probably sluttiest dress I owned. It was black, lacey, tight and just overall perfect for this. A pair of high heels to finish it all off and I was ready.

“Yer not going out like that!” I heard him snap behind me, turning around.

“Um actually I am. You’ve decided to pretend like I’m not here, remember?” I snapped back.

“Tammy I swear to god if you leave this house I –“

“You what, Niall? What do you wanna do?” I walked towards him, anger boiling up in me.

Before I could even think about protesting, he had already crashed his lips onto mine, hands wandering to grab my waist. I quickly kissed him back, putting my hands behind his ear to grab his hair.

This had not been part of my plan. Niall was supposed to be mad and frustrated and he was supposed to realize that I wasn’t going to have any of his shit and yet here I was.

I guess at the end of the day kind of falling for Niall hadn’t been my plan either.

The next morning I woke up tangled up in his arms … again. This time instead of sneaking out I lingered though, admiring his perfect face for a moment. I loved it when his hair stuck to his forehead, it made him look less famous-y and more Niall-y (? What even). A couple of minutes later he woke up, a slight smile on his face as he caught me staring at him.

“Yer staring …” He mumbled. I also loved how his accent sounded in the morning … But also how his accent sounded in general. I loved his voice.

“No I’m not, shut up!” I smirked at him, as he pulled me further into him.

My chin rested on his chest and I looked up at him. “You know … We do need to figure out what this … us is, right?”

“Ya I know …” Niall hid his head in my hair, taking in the scent.

“You know you are going to have to talk to Ashley right?”

“Ya …”

“Great conversation, thanks.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes before getting up from the bed.

“No I will talk t her, I promise!” He raised his hands in defense before getting up from the bed as well.

I sighed. “Do you love her?” I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want to. I didn’t even want to ask but I knew I had to.

“Do you love that Lucas guy?” I couldn’t even believe that little shit.

“I did but I don’t anymore, Niall. Right now it’s about you and Ashley, remember?” He didn’t say anything. He just stared at me so I decided to ask again.

“Do you love her?” Nothing. “You know, not saying anything is still an answer. I’m just disappointed you don’t have the guts to just tell me you love her.”

“I don’t okay?” He raised his voice and I almost jumped.

“Well then fucking tell her you don’t!” I was getting furious at this point. I was tired of these pointless fights, I really was.

“It’s not that easy okay? You said it yerself she is incredible to put up with all this shit. When her and I got together I told her, I was technically already engaged but she still wanted to be with me and even after you and me had to pretend that we’re together she still stuck around. Ashley is in love with me and you are clearly not!”

I scoffed. “Okay first of all we have known each other for like half a year. Second, we don’t even know anything about each other. We were beginning to become friends then you acted weird in that club in New York, then we had sex … twice and the rest of the time we just fight.” I took a few deep breaths before I continued. “Also I have spent 20 years of my life hating you. I hated you even though I didn’t even know you because … Because I didn’t want to be with you! I didn’t want to be with you and I just wish we … I just wish we would get to know each other instead of either fighting or having sex.”

Niall let a loud breath escape his mouth before he finally looked at me. “Well then let’s talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in this chapter I wanted to really focus on their individual struggle with all of this. They're like torn between their obvious attraction for each other and the urge to stand up against their parents. Also neither of them knows what they really feel for the other so yeah .. Tell me what you think, leave a comment and such:)
> 
> love,
> 
> tammy.


	5. Apart

The next days were definitely one of the best in my entire life. Niall and I had spent the whole night talking and laughing and getting to know each other and the nights after we had gone out, gotten really drunk, had had sex and after that week I was at the point where I knew I was falling for him; hard. And to be honest I think he was feeling the same about me. Having casual sex turned into intense love making, fights turned into making up, teasing turned into playful fist fighting. All the people around us noticed that things were changing and we weren’t denying nor confirming anything … Probably because we hadn’t talked about actually being in a relationship and probably because neither of us had ever been in that sort of relationship where you go from hate to love.

We had convinced our parents to delay the date of the wedding and that we would pick the date ourselves. They weren’t happy but they didn’t really have anything to fear now that we were actually together. It was still weird, knowing that Niall and I would have to spend our lives together but it didn’t bother me in the same way it did before. Now the things that bothered me were that Niall and I never got to go through the whole you know usual relationship things. We had never met like we were supposed to, we had never flirted and he never got to properly ask me out. We had never had a sweet, shy first kiss but I guess I just had to get over that eventually.

Our marriage might have been arranged and forced but I did believe we we going to be happy. I genuinely, genuinely thought we were going to be happy … But I didn’t know what was about to come.

“Breakfast’s ready.” I called from the kitchen. I had made French toast because I knew he liked it when I cooked for him.

He came into the kitchen, eyes still tired and sleepy. He stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and looking over my shoulder. He wasn’t wearing anything but his boxers and I was ready to jump him.

“Smells good.” Niall mumbled as he started to kiss my neck up and down. “Are ya ever gonna stop wearing my shirts?”

“Nope!” I giggled, turning around in his arms. I pressed my lips against his in a sweet kiss before pulling away again.

“Can we just stay here in London forever?” I sighed, putting my hands against his bare chest, looking up to him.

“Wish we could babe but I need to make money.”

I sighed again. Lou and I wouldn’t join the boys for the European leg of the tour which worried me. I was worried about what was going to happen if we didn’t see each other for a whole month. I also knew we had to talk about what we were before he went away.

“Anything planned for today?” I asked, pecking his lips.

“Yes, I am going to make dinner for ya tonight.” He grinned, raising his left eye brow.

“Niall Horan is it supposed to be a date?”

Niall nodded, smirking cheekily. I giggled before kissing him again.

The day passed quickly, I had done some shopping in London of course never without getting recognized by some crazy fans. Most of the time they were really polite but some were sort of rude.

When I got home and entered Niall’s house I was greeted by a more than excited Niall himself. He wore a white shirt and the upper buttons weren’t closed, his chest hair peeking through. His hair was up in a perfect quiff, freshly dyed. He took my hand and kissed my knuckles before pulling me into his arms to peck my lips.

“Dinner’s ready.” He whispered in between sweet kisses.

“You look very handsome.” I didn’t even lie. He was flat out gorgeous and everyone knew it. “I didn’t even get ready, give me 10 minutes.” I tried to escape from his grip but he pulled me back into his arms, my chest crashing against his.

“No time for that, you look just as gorgeous in comfy clothes.”

I slapped his shoulder playfully, giggling. “Fine, let’s go I’m starving.”

The dinner had just been perfect. He was perfect. We were perfect. There was no point denying it.

“Niall?” I asked, avoiding eye contact.

“Hm?” He mumbled, stuffing the last of his dinner into his mouth.

“I think I’m falling f –“

I was cut off by my phone ringing. I saw my mother’s name on the display. Of-fucking-course.

“Mother wha –“

“Tamara?” Her tone was as cold as a stone and I instantly heard she’d been crying. “Your father died. I need you to come home right now. The engagement is off.”

I didn’t know what to say or what to think or what to feel.

I started to cry, looking into the face of a completely confused Niall. I hung up the phone, storming out of the kitchen, into the bedroom. He came after me calling my name but I didn’t react. I pulled my suitcase out of the closet and started furiously throwing stuff in it.

“Tammy please talk to me, baby please!” He pleaded.

I tried to pull myself together. “I need to go home. My – My dad died.” Speaking it out loud made it even more real. Just because I was never close to my parents didn’t mean I didn’t love them.

“What? I – Baby I’m so sorry! You can’t fly, not in this condition.” Niall tried to turn me around to get me to look at him but I couldn’t.

“I have to Niall.”

“No you don’t, you need to stay here … With me! I lo – “

“The engagement is off Niall!” I yelled, turning around to face him. “My mother just told me. The engagement is off we are not going to get married... This is what we wanted, isn’t it? This is what we have been wanting from the start.” No it wasn’t. It wasn’t what I wanted anymore but it didn’t matter.

“Tammy don’t rush this I – “

“There’s nothing more to say Niall, I’m going. I need to go. I have to go.” I closed my suitcase, grabbing my bag.

“Fine but I’m driving you to the airport, yer not going out in this condition.”

I nodded.

During the ride over to the airport I had booked the flight to America and my plane was leaving in an hour so I had to hurry. We walked into the airport and my father’s death wasn’t the only reason I was crying. I was crying because I knew this was the end. This was the end of me and Niall. No one was forcing us together anymore. I stopped walking in front of security and turned to face him. His face was filled with pain and so was mine.

“This doesn’t have t' be the end …” He whispered, taking my hand.

I couldn’t answer. Instead I pulled him towards me and connected our lips. He understood my answer and pulled me tighter into him. Eventually I pulled away, pecked his lips once more and went through security without looking back.

We knew this was the end.

______________

“What do you mean you are going back to London?” I snapped at my best friend, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“That I’m going back to London … to be with Liam.” Lou monitored my motions, crossing her arms.

“You have got to be kidding me, Lou!”

“I’m in love with him.” She pouted.

“Wow … I’m impressed.” I said sarcastically before growing more serious. “But you can’t leave me … I need you.”

“Well come with me then. We both know Niall is waiting for you to come back.”

My heart dropped at his name. It had been 3 months since my father’s passing and since the last time I spoke to Niall.

“Lou he’s not waiting for me. He’s back with Ashley and they can finally be public. That’s what they have always wanted.”

“This was what he wanted before he met you, Tammy. It’s not what he wants anymore and you know it.” She raised her brows at me.

“It’s not that easy …”

“It never is. You and Niall had the most unique relationship I have ever seen and you chose to throw it away.” My best friend shook her head heavily.

“Okay first of all I didn’t throw it away okay, my father died. Don’t you understand that the bond between our families was the only thing keeping us together? We were forced to be together, forced to get married and forced to fall in love with each other.”

“So you finally admit it!”

“I – What?”

“You finally admit that you are in love with him. Gosh, I’ve been waiting for you to admit it for ages. And for the record, you don’t fall in love with someone because you are forced to. Don’t you know anything about love?” Lou tilted her head.

“I don’t.”

With that the argument was over. She knew I was too thick headed to come with her. Besides, Niall could have send a message or called or visited but he chose to get back with Ashley and to be honest I couldn’t even blame him. He had loved Ashley and I had interfered. Now that I was out of the picture maybe he could be happy … That was all I really wanted for him; to be happy. If Lou thought that was love then so be it.

That was the last time I thought about Niall for a long time. Time passed and the pain faded away. It still hurt when I saw him on TV, or read about One Direction in magazines but I had accepted that we were simply not made for each other … Time had driven me away from my mother, I rarely talked to her at all. Lou had moved to London for good and I had missed her like crazy but we kept in contact through Skype and Facetime. 

In the months and years after the engagement was called off I finally spend quality time with myself for the first time in my life. No one expected me to do anything and no one could tell me what to do and what not to do. I found out that I actually enjoyed dancing and that I was surprisingly good at it.

3 years after my father’s death my life finally seemed to be settling but that was about to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woooooo didn't see that one coming, did ya? i finally know where i'm going with this fic and i'm so glad about it! get excited for the next chapter it's gonna be great!


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